HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ? By Annette Flottwell, Takeo De Meter and many others... * When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears. * If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off. * If WD40 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk. * When your husband starts referring to you as "my ex-", although you are still married. * If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks". * When you dream of burned Lucas electrics when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed * If even Essex girls turn you down after they`ve seen your car. * If 10 lbs of of prime top soil fall on the tarmac when you smack your door shut * If you store K&N air filter cleaning liquid under the kitchen sink because you need it so often * When you drive in shorts in the flemish winter to avoid wet jeans. * If nobody parks next to you on a Saturday supermarket parking lot * If only the African immigrants greet you in town * If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks. * When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains * If you wonder why it smells so funny if you throw a cig butt on the floor of a rental car * If you start every conversation in the vehicle with "one, two, test" to check the intercom * When even Russians don't believe your truck is only 20 years old * When there are more tools in the truck than in your house * If you think it's essential to carry 20 litres of water at all times, even in Belgium * If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop * When you decide on weekend plans in bed and the alternatives are grease-up or fix the radiator * If you buy rear mirrors in bulk at the farmer's union shop * When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo and odometer * When you are surprised that the M.O.T. mentions the condition of your seats in the report * If you wonder why the moss in your truck's inner window sills is greener than your lawn * When you are used to switch off headlights before indicating right because they interfere * If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by LR door locks * When you find a gas evaporator between salt and pepper in the kitchen * When a Russian women observes 'these are not women's hands' and someone adds 'just don't ask her what she has been repairing this time...' * When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present * When your handbag contains pliers, multimeter, Swisstool, insulation tape, 30 amps fuses, compass, imperial bolts and a torch * If you only dare to use the coin operated car wash on a dark Sunday night * If friends don't want you to show up in the afternoon because they got visitors but then they call you at 8 AM on a Sunday morning when they're stuck in the forest. * when other girls give you a 1 1/8" socket as a present -and they know you love it! All the above is nothing but our own experience - Annette & Takeo * You can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails. * You put your coat on as you get INTO your car. * You keep degreaser in the shower. * When you borrow your Mums 1litre Vauxhall Corsa it feels like a sports car. * You get lent to elderly relatives and their friends to get the compost from the garden centre. Two tonnes at a time. * Your friends all want to ride in your car if you're going less than three miles. If you're travelling more than three miles, they volunteer to walk. * Your mates laugh at your car until theirs needs pulling out of a ditch. Tom C. "If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises" J. Galea -You stop at a petrol station to top up oil and to check the petrol level -Your washing machine never gets unemployed -Your favourite books are the parts catalogue and the reapair operation manual (Matthias Brinkmann) - the wife says its me or that thing she takes one look at you and packs - MARKRANDM@aol.com Katherina wrote:hereby you find a picture of a part of the wall of my living room(for the "How do you know you own a Landrover"-page) -> the rest of itis worse *g*! * I can trust my husband: if he stays out all night long it's because he's stuck in the forest and not because of another women * When you don't worry when your hubby says he takes out the Landy for half an hour and he doesn't come back all night long * When you are buying dark nail varnish only to hide away black marks under the finger nails * When you ask for "Epsom Green" when buying nail varnish * When your living room looks like a scrap-yard * When you find landy-bits all over your place (and I mean: ALL over the place!) * When your dishwasher dies because of engine oil sediments * When your house-owner asks you to stop putting Rangie-bits all over the cellar (but you don't know where to put them in the flat - see above) Katharina Bleuer * Reps in nice shiny motorway cars laugh derisively except when it snows * your drive has an enviromental health warning * police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket * people in VW camper vans follow you so they can watch someone else break down * everyone in the landy dealer knows you by name * you have bulk discounts at the landy dealer parts counter Will * When the men at Bearmach know you better than your wife. * When your wife say's the men at Bearmach see you more. * Other motorists laugh at your attempt at a 3 point turn in your Series 3 Land Rover.